The Oxford English Dictionary defines the word ‘perfect’ as
‘having everything that is necessary; complete and without faults or weaknesses’
Do you know any human being without faults or weaknesses?
No, me either.
Reflecting back on a day of coaching calls, I must have heard the word perfect uttered at least 50 times.
For example I heard:
- ‘I mostly ate well, but it wasn’t perfect’
- ‘I only meditated 3 times this week, I can do better, next week will be perfect.’
- ‘‘I don’t feel good enough unless everything is perfect’
And so on and so on.
Every win and achievement was caveated with the phrase ‘ it wasn’t perfect’. Swept up in a whirlwind of perfection they could only see the things they didnt do and were blinded to the real incredible changes they had made!
Hearing the internal struggle with perfection rage within my clients made me feel really sad for them. I get the inherent desire to live our best possible life, I want that too, but at what cost?
The heart wants what the heart wants, but at what point is good enough actually good enough?
Striving for perfection is not empowering or attractive it’s a self sabotaging belief.
Ironically, aiming for complete perfection drags you further away from your true self and potential. With perfection, there is never any resolution, no final payoff. No reward.
I know ex-bodybuilders, executives, world class entrepreneurs who have all admitted to me that when they reached that perfect moment they aspired to for so long, it wasn’t enough. They still felt incomplete. Now what? They said.
When I heard their stories my heart broke for them.
Picture years, even decades striving for your hearts desire, but upon achieving it, you don’t actually feel fulfiled in the most meaningful way imaginable.
How miserable is that?
You see your mind will always tell you that there was something you could have done better. You play the ‘what-if’ game with yourself. You can’t win.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Perfection is the opposite of mindfulness
If your self worth depends on achieving something that only exists in the future, then how can you be happy day to day?
Trapped in the never ending quest for perfection life is passing you by, my friend. Be in the moment, sever the link and let go of the influence perfection has on you. Listen to yourself more and tune into where the flow of life is taking you right now.
Do you even want what you initially set out to achieve anymore?
Are you basing your actions on old beliefs or a decision you made 20 years ago? Is the goal even relevant at this stage in your life?
Redefine what success and happiness truly means to you in the here and now.
One could argue that perfection only truly exists in nature and the universe. Seeing as you are part of both, perhaps you might accept that you are already perfect and don’t need to seek it anymore?
However, if you chose to constantly live by the rule ‘I won’t be truly happy unless I ……..’. My guess is you will struggle to find true happiness. And, life is too short for that.
Let go my friend. Good enough is enough.